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Musings Parenting

Intend and dream

I have a newfound interest in exploring my dream life. To better honor and engage with the sacred journey that I embark on every night.

When I was a child, I had recurring nightmares. My experiences at night were so traumatic that I developed a fear of sleep itself, knowing that the monsters of my dreams would be there waiting for me night after night.

As is often the case with universal timing, my mother happened to be taking a class in lucid dreaming. She taught me the basics of lucid dreaming, imparting that it might help me overcome the nightmares.

An enviable part of being young is the flexibility to absorb most any teaching, and I recall being able to lucid dream by almost the first night. All I needed was this flash of inspiring possibility.

The first stage of lucid dreaming I experienced was of simple awareness; knowing that I was in a dream. While this didn’t alone stop the nightmares, it calmed me and encouraged me to continue.

Over a short time, I could command the monsters to obey my will. They weren’t always so obliging, but with time I was organizing colorful parades of these monsters in my mind. What was once so terrifying became a playful game of celebration.

The feeling of triumph I got from this experience was profound and extended into my waking life. I became more confident at school and I felt more empowered in my life. I had accomplished something that felt like magic, and it had a real energy to it.

I retained this lucid dreaming ability for a few years, but with time it withered away. In college, I myself took a dream course in hopes of rekindling the experience. Through journaling, I was able to at least start remembering my dreams again, but actual lucid dreaming remained elusive.

I’ve spent most of this life remaining curious about dreams, but not really getting to the point of prioritizing the experience enough to dig deeper.

Now is the time for me to prioritize dreaming.

From my experience, an important aspect of any inward journey is setting intentions for the meditation. Ask your guides what you want to come out of this sacred time you are setting aside for yourself, and they will often deliver in profound ways.

So I’ve decided to approach each night as a journey inward, and set intentions as I go to sleep about what I want to get out this time.

In a previous post about morning rituals, I wrote about the importance of allowing screen-free time in the mornings after I wake. I’ve found that an important part of remembering my dreams and receiving the results of my intentions comes from allowing space for it to come in. If I get into productive mode immediately, I’ll quickly forget important aspects of my journey and the dream time that I set aside for insights has been wasted.

One final thing I’ll add is that I’ve always encouraged my children to approach dreams as something they have control over. Every night since they were too little to talk, I’ve asked them to think about what they want to dream about that night – like selecting from a menu of experiences to enjoy. Every morning, I ask them with genuine interest what they dreamt about and tell them about any dreams I remember. I hope this sets them on a path of having a more meaningful relationship with their own dreams.

What is your relationship with dreams? Do you have experiences of lucid dreaming you could share with me? Any techniques that you use to better remember your dreams? How do you talk to your kids about dreams?

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